Long Distance 411: Six Unique Ways to Keep Families Together When They Live Apart
By Karen Nowicki
Whether it is due to a divorce, job requirements, military assignment, education or even incarceration, many families in our society today are living farther and farther apart.
Depending on which perspective you choose to view this situation will ultimately shape how well you and your child cope with the distance.
A “poor little Johnny” attitude will likely rub off on him and have him feeling like somehow he got the short end of the stick. Even if the living arrangements are out of your control, you will serve yourself and your children well by focusing on ways to make what you think is a bleak situation bright.
Embrace the change and seek to find the gold in the separation. Think about this as a comparison, why do millions of children grow up with a single parent or guardian and feel loved no less than a child with two parents? It is because they experience love and connection on a consistent basis. The same can be said for long distant parenting too.
Keep your relationship strong by regularly communicating. Do the best you can to have a scheduled plan for phone calls, emails, written letters and visits. This will give them a sense of routine and consistency, just as if you were coming home from work each night.
Beyond the agreed upon “family times”, surprise your child as frequently as you can with spontaneous phone calls, emails, and written letters. Include age appropriate trinkets every once in awhile. A sticker sheet, photo of you, souvenir or picture (drawn by you) will go a long way to help close the gap in distance.
Here are six unique ways to keep families together when they live far apart. Some are free and some require a purchase; but, either way, they all add a spark and personal touch to your long distance relationships.
FRIENDSHIP STONES are a novel and perhaps unusual way of coping with long distance for both parents and children. Small enough to be carried around in one’s wallet or purse, it is a powerful reminder of one’s love during times when two people are apart. The Friendship Stone is a meaningful, give-back gift, a keepsake expressing one’s love, appreciation and gratitude. It also is a metaphor for how one looks at life, reminding each person that life is about choices and to be positive.
MINDSIGNS CARDS In 2001, Ron Ball was seeking for a way to help his daughter deal with the challenges of high school — all the studying, tests, peer pressure and difficulties in growing up. About the same time, his father was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. Although Ron was a busy executive, he wanted to show he was thinking about them and cared about their well-being. Ron originally created a book of affirming thoughts and empowering questions and titled it “Mindsigns”. Now, MindSigns are colorful greeting cards that are available to everyone. Each week, someone you choose receives a new MindSigns card, not once or twice, but up to 52 times a year. It’s a gift that they’ll always remember came from you.
SHUTTERFLY SHARE SITES are free, personalized websites created to share, connect and collaborate with friends and family. You can all post pictures, have a calendar, journal, etc. “Share Sites are a fun and easy way to maintain a private and secure site just for you and your loved ones,” shares Fiona Chan, Account Coordinator for Flashpoint PR.
SURVIVING MILITARY SEPARATION: A 365 Day Activity guide for the Families of Deployed Personnel Author Marc Maxwell is a former Army Ranger who is currently stationed in Germany working as a guidance counselor for the Department of Defense. He saw a need for a fun, engaging activity book for the military community that spouses and families could use together during a deployment of a loved one. His book fills just this gap and offers a wide variety of daily activities to help family members get through the tough deployment period.
BEAR MY HEART greeting bears foster a sense of security for children, inspire creativity, promote play and help with language development. You design the bear yourself and then personalize it with special fabric on their shirts to include a handwritten message or artwork with special markers included. A special voice message recording is just the right finishing touch to let your child know you care.
SKYPE WEB VIDEO CHAT PROGRAM Free calls, video calls and instant messaging over the internet. Plus great value calls to phones anywhere in the world. Recommended by Lisa Hanock-Jasie who says, “Skype is THE answer to keep in touch with your children who live far away. The Skype program allows us to “visit” with our daughter live. Although we’re not there with her, we are, in a sense, with her there.”
Prior to opening her own coaching business, Karen Nowicki was a teacher, asst. principal and vice president for public and charter schools. Karen is the founder of the Snuggle Deep Retreat and the author of Maddie Moonbeam’s Garden. Karen lives in Chandler, AZ with her husband and three children. For more with Karen, sign up for her free newsletter at http://www.apeacefulintegration.com/.
Whether it is due to a divorce, job requirements, military assignment, education or even incarceration, many families in our society today are living farther and farther apart.
Depending on which perspective you choose to view this situation will ultimately shape how well you and your child cope with the distance.
A “poor little Johnny” attitude will likely rub off on him and have him feeling like somehow he got the short end of the stick. Even if the living arrangements are out of your control, you will serve yourself and your children well by focusing on ways to make what you think is a bleak situation bright.
Embrace the change and seek to find the gold in the separation. Think about this as a comparison, why do millions of children grow up with a single parent or guardian and feel loved no less than a child with two parents? It is because they experience love and connection on a consistent basis. The same can be said for long distant parenting too.
Keep your relationship strong by regularly communicating. Do the best you can to have a scheduled plan for phone calls, emails, written letters and visits. This will give them a sense of routine and consistency, just as if you were coming home from work each night.
Beyond the agreed upon “family times”, surprise your child as frequently as you can with spontaneous phone calls, emails, and written letters. Include age appropriate trinkets every once in awhile. A sticker sheet, photo of you, souvenir or picture (drawn by you) will go a long way to help close the gap in distance.
Here are six unique ways to keep families together when they live far apart. Some are free and some require a purchase; but, either way, they all add a spark and personal touch to your long distance relationships.
FRIENDSHIP STONES are a novel and perhaps unusual way of coping with long distance for both parents and children. Small enough to be carried around in one’s wallet or purse, it is a powerful reminder of one’s love during times when two people are apart. The Friendship Stone is a meaningful, give-back gift, a keepsake expressing one’s love, appreciation and gratitude. It also is a metaphor for how one looks at life, reminding each person that life is about choices and to be positive.
MINDSIGNS CARDS In 2001, Ron Ball was seeking for a way to help his daughter deal with the challenges of high school — all the studying, tests, peer pressure and difficulties in growing up. About the same time, his father was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. Although Ron was a busy executive, he wanted to show he was thinking about them and cared about their well-being. Ron originally created a book of affirming thoughts and empowering questions and titled it “Mindsigns”. Now, MindSigns are colorful greeting cards that are available to everyone. Each week, someone you choose receives a new MindSigns card, not once or twice, but up to 52 times a year. It’s a gift that they’ll always remember came from you.
SHUTTERFLY SHARE SITES are free, personalized websites created to share, connect and collaborate with friends and family. You can all post pictures, have a calendar, journal, etc. “Share Sites are a fun and easy way to maintain a private and secure site just for you and your loved ones,” shares Fiona Chan, Account Coordinator for Flashpoint PR.
SURVIVING MILITARY SEPARATION: A 365 Day Activity guide for the Families of Deployed Personnel Author Marc Maxwell is a former Army Ranger who is currently stationed in Germany working as a guidance counselor for the Department of Defense. He saw a need for a fun, engaging activity book for the military community that spouses and families could use together during a deployment of a loved one. His book fills just this gap and offers a wide variety of daily activities to help family members get through the tough deployment period.
BEAR MY HEART greeting bears foster a sense of security for children, inspire creativity, promote play and help with language development. You design the bear yourself and then personalize it with special fabric on their shirts to include a handwritten message or artwork with special markers included. A special voice message recording is just the right finishing touch to let your child know you care.
SKYPE WEB VIDEO CHAT PROGRAM Free calls, video calls and instant messaging over the internet. Plus great value calls to phones anywhere in the world. Recommended by Lisa Hanock-Jasie who says, “Skype is THE answer to keep in touch with your children who live far away. The Skype program allows us to “visit” with our daughter live. Although we’re not there with her, we are, in a sense, with her there.”
Prior to opening her own coaching business, Karen Nowicki was a teacher, asst. principal and vice president for public and charter schools. Karen is the founder of the Snuggle Deep Retreat and the author of Maddie Moonbeam’s Garden. Karen lives in Chandler, AZ with her husband and three children. For more with Karen, sign up for her free newsletter at http://www.apeacefulintegration.com/.
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